Perception
by DiabolicalINk
Summary: Josephina Caler above all else believes in peace, she does not believe in war or "an eye for an eye" but when A disaster of a cruise lands her in the hands of the utterly insane (and handsome) Vaas, she learns the meaning of true savagery and explores the most diabolic corners of her own heart. Vaas/Oc. M for cussing, violence, sexual stuff, the whole lot!
1. Chapter 1: Paradise's Final

A/N:

Hey Guys it's DI here! I have been playing Far Cry 3 like it's nobody's business lately and decided to write a fanfic for it because Vaas is super crazy which makes him hot in my mind I guess C; haha anyways this fic is influenced by the book "Heart of Darkness" by Joseph Conrad. I hope you like it!

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**Perception**

Chapter 1

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"_The Foreign faces, the changing immensity of life, glide past, veiled not by a sense of mystery but by a slightly disdainful ignorance; for there is nothing mysterious to a seaman unless it be the sea itself, which is the mistress of his existence and as inscrutable as Destiny." _Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

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I had always thought nature to be my ally against the superficiality of humanity, the selfishness of civilization but as many before me, deep within the monster I had found myself to be wrong. Everything was different in the green jungle. A man who had everything suddenly had nothing, and a man who had nothing then created everything, only to be the prey of those who had nothing while he created his empire. A vicious cycle with unpredictable twists had formed within the tropics. You become the prey to be the predator, but when you cast the first stone the second one falls near. To be ahead you had to be behind, around, above; these were the commandments of the hungry great green jungle, the ever ravenous tropic suicide. To not be destroyed you had to perceive the inevitable of the unpredictable.

So who could be saved from destruction? Who could be a true survivor? I will tell you: No one can. For no one can expect to change the world without having a change manifest in them first.

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"We will not be stopped, we will not be silenced Wildlife is beauty and humanity creates violence!"

I screamed along with my fellow protestors shouting, willing society to understand the ignorance of those in power. The hot California sun beat down on my shoulders but I could not stop, I continued on the chant with my group of beaded, dreadlocked peers.

"Tear down the jungle! Tear down animal's homes! We say we are deprived but look at what we own!"

We yelled in sequence waving signs with catchy phrases around. It was the middle of the day when most people were out and about, so we were starting up a crowd gathering, asking what we were outraged about. Good, more people had to know of the crimes committed by those who live in cushy chairs stuffed with hundred dollar bills.

"Hello Miss, may I ask you a few questions for our news cast tonight?" I turned around when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. It was a lady with a news station. I had been so adamant on shaking signs at the company building I had not realized that a news van had pulled up.

"Yeah, sure." I smiled at her kindly, fixing my short blonde hair and flower woven headband.

She smiled and gave a wave type signal to the man in the cap holding the camera. After looking in a pocket mirror to check her makeup she smiled into it scraping off a bit of her dark lipstick off of her tooth, she then slipped the pink compact into her purse putting it aside out of the camera shot. The camera guy signaled 3-2-1 and 'go' when the camera was recording. The news lady immediately straightened her back and threw on her brightest smile.

"Ally Brigs here with you at news station 5. In Huntington Beach, California today there is a big rally, or should I say a protest outside of the Phillips and Brother's company building. Here with me right now is one of these protesters."

She turned to me holding the microphone at my face "What is your name and where are you from?"

I cleared my throat and leaned into the microphone. "My name is Josephina Caler, but I go by Joe and I am from Monterey, California."

The lady smiled politely "Wow, that is a far ways away from here in Huntington!"

I smiled "Yeah, I agree, My friend surprised me with tickets for a cruise, but it leaves from a port down here in southern Cali, so I drove down and am staying at her house until the cruise leaves tomorrow."

"How exciting!" the lady enthused but upon noticing that she was getting glared at by the camera man for getting side-tracked she cleared her throat and got back on the subject at hand. "So why are you all picketing outside of this corporation?"

"This company uses their money to not only cut down rainforests but also destroy beautiful wildlife by creating oil-mining projects that destroy the ground and then abandoning them when no profit is found, leaving non-biodegradable steel equipment to rust and deteriorate creating an unhealthy and toxic environment for wildlife."

The lady nodded swinging the microphone back to her.

"How do you feel about the war of the natives versus the companies workers?"

I threw my arms up in indignation practically grapping the mic from her manicured acrylic nails.

"I'm outraged as any sane person should be! Us Americans we are trespassing on _their_ land and destroying it! I don't expect anything less than them rising up and fighting for it. Who are we to steal what is theirs? I'm not saying the workers deserve to be killed, but ignorantly walking into a situation of that weight, it is almost inevitable and I have less pity on a fool getting himself killed."

"So you believe if a righteously purchased American post is under siege, and the natives are killing the workers, then the American's shouldn't fight back? An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."

"You know, I don't believe in that eye for an eye nonsense. War, war is just an eye for an eye, you take my land, I will take yours. If that saying were true, war would never stop peace could never happen. For peace to take place the person who is in the wrong must lay down and admit defeat." I concluded.

Suddenly sirens were going off, everyone started to scatter as if it was a high school party instead of a protest, not wanting to be the one person left behind, I said my good bye to the interviewer lady and jogged off into the pedestrians to blend in.

"Joe!" I glanced behind me to see a familiar light brown haired man jogging to catch up with me.

"Grant." I greeted with a smile as he caught up with me. Grant was one of those guys with a young face that women adored, he was tall and skinny. Grant and I are on and off people, we dated a bit, then broke up, then dated a bit and now we are broken up, but lately he has been trying to talk to me more and more.

"Hey you were great talking to that lady." He complimented giving me a puppy dog smile, and with that smile I knew he was about to change the subject to something he was nervous over.

"Cut the crap Grant." I playfully rolled my eyes "We can both tell you want to talk about something else."

Grant smiled blushing a bit sheepishly; he shoved his hands nervously in his pockets looking at the ground, anywhere but my eyes.

"Yeah Joe, I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me sometime."

I smiled, Grant was a sweet guy, a really sweet guy, he was quiet and was always agreeing with what anyone around him said for fear of creating a fight. He always looked at the ground as if he was not worthy of being in anyone's presence. Grant was a very nice humble man.

"Well, I am leaving tomorrow

for a cruise with Vivian, and everything is kind of crazy right now, getting ready for the cruise and all…"

Grant frowned picking at his sleeve dejectedly when he realized I was rejecting him. I hated that frown and I hated how his eyes flickered up at me with that stupid kicked puppy look.

"Well I guess when I get back we can plan something out, I'll be down here for a couple more weeks after the cruise."

A glimmer of hope exploded through his expressions and it made me cringe.

'Stop' I reprimanded myself 'Grant is a nice guy, any girl would be lucky to have him as a date.'

I forced a smile and he seemed to buy it, hope ushering on his belief.

"Wow great! I'll keep in touch see you in a week Joe!"

I forced a smile.

"Yeah….great."

He broke out into a huge smile, and awkwardly shifted onto one foot than the other not really knowing what to say, he then just waved and ran off bumping into about five people as he looked back at me to wave again as he left.

I wanted to face palm for his sake, Poor poor Grant forever oblivious of his awkward ways.

It felt like a decade before I arrived back at Viv's place. Her parents have a ton of money so of course as soon as she got into a collage far away from Washington they didn't waste time buying her an apartment but rather a whole house! To say I wasn't jealous would be a lie, because I was very jealous. Not so much of the fact that it was a nice house that probably cost a pretty penny, but rather her parents loved her enough to entrust her with a whole house. It just seems so unfair that while she got everything, I got stuck with a meth-head mother who I haven't seen in 5 years.

When I entered in, I saw Vivian at the coffee table in front of the TV, but the TV was not on, rather papers lying a strew everywhere, books open. No doubt Vivian is studying for a test in one of her collage classes. I said a hello to her and she just gave a short dismissive wave obviously preoccupied with studying. I decided to go back into my room (which is her spare room) and grab some of my painting supplies. The rest of the day I finished up a couple of paintings, when I looked at the clock next it was about midnight.

"Hey Joe, might want to go to sleep soon, we are leaving at 9am tomorrow which means we leave here at like 8:30am."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "Says you! You haven't even finished packing yet!"

She stuck her tongue back at me "Hey packing is a difficult process, and I'll have you know I actually did finish today when you were out protesting with some old collage buddies!"

I rolled my eyes "Whatever I was just finished painting anyway."

"Yeah right, you never stop painting; you probably do it in your sleep." Viv laughed and I rolled my eyes at her.

"If you don't shut up I'm going to paint you a new face while you sleep tonight." I threatened swinging the paintbrushes around that I picked up to wash out in the sink.

"You know who wouldn't mind that? Grant, I bet he'd like some sexy body painting with you." She waggled her eyebrows.

"That's is it!" I yelled at her "I am _so_ done with your shit!" I ran at her armed with the paint brushes but, she slammed her door standing on the other side of it so I couldn't get in. I could hear her maniacal laughter through the door.

"Joe and Graa-ant sittin' in a tree-" she sing-songed.

"You are such a child!" I shouted at her through the door.

"Says the girl who does face paints!" She laughed, then I broke down and started laughing too, and soon enough we were both in hysterics.

"Viv, you are a handful, I'm going to wash out these brushes and go to bed."

She opened the door cautiously of me attacking her with paint.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow bright and early!"

I gave a gagging sound and she laughed and made some comment about how she should be gagging over how I look in the morning, I rolled my eyes.

"Goodnight Viv."

"Goodnight Joe."

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Comment? I would love to hear what you guys think C: !


	2. Chapter 2: Sickening Omen

Hey Guys Here is Chapter 2 :D! I hope you all like it!

At the end of the chapter I decided to put lyrics to a song that I was listening to while typing it and I was thinking 'wow this is so fitting!' so I decided to type lyrics that I think fit well with the chapter and I was listening to while typing it! I personally love when Authors include lyrics to songs because I find songs that I really like through them C: !

A HUGE thanks to **The Knees of Bees** and **KatanaNightengale** for the reviews C: reviews are love! I hope you guys like this chapter!

I love hearing comments too if you want to comment or message me, I'm a pretty talkative person!

-DI

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Perception

Chapter 2

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"_There was something ominous in the atmosphere. It was as just as though I had been let into some conspiracy." _Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

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'Nothing is set in stone' is a lying phrase, the past is set in stone, unable to be altered. Who could change the past? No one. What can change the future? A single decision made in the essence of a single fleeting moment, some decisions so easily made become the most deadly. The realization of our complete mortality comes in observation of the importance of a single instant, how powerful a moment is to drastically alter an event and then to carve it in stone. Every decision made was once a moment, every huge event was once a sliver of time that transforms the 'could have been' into the 'impossible' and the 'potential' into the 'inevitable'.

It is when one realizes the significance of an instant when they realize the true insanity of life, the impossibility to control anything, the illusion that 'control' really is. Who can control life then? Tell me, I would like to know.

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The massive white beast glared down at me as the waves avoided it's smooth bulk. The eloquent black cursive twisted and curved delicately spelling out the name of the great white beast "_Dream Finder_" it beckoned to the unknowing and eager closer towards it's comforting aura. To me the beautiful writing was a red flag waving in the wind, a giant skull, a warning to not get within 100 feet of this ship, much less on it. Anxiety crashed onto me pulling me under, my stomach warped sickeningly as if to warn me of a bad omen. Everything within me told me to stay away from this ship, my throat tightened and my fingers shook. My eyes widened and my breathing quickened.

"Joe" Vivian called snapping me out of my thoughts and back into reality.

I gave an awkward laugh, "Sorry Viv, I guess I was just distracted."

She could see the anxiety on my face "Hey it will be fun! Don't waste time with worries, I'm nervous too but once we get on the ship everything will be better!" She smiled pulling me a bit along with her "I promise." She guaranteed.

Vivian was so excited for this cruise I couldn't bring her down with my anxieties. I nodded giving a smile.

Vivian was right, as the fresh air rushed through my short blonde locks I smiled, this was the best moment all year. The cool wind allayed me of my prior nerves and endued a calm vibe through my being. I was stupid for being so nervous.

"Omigawd Joe!" Vivian called with an excited yell I rushed over to her, she was holding the map of the gigantic cruise ship, pointing to one end of the boat with a blue shape she turned to me with a huge smile. "They have a poolwith a swim up_ bar_!"

"_day-umn"_ I gaped at the spot she was pointing at, so this was what it was like living large!

I turned to her throwing up my arms "Well what are we waiting for?" she turned to me with a smile matching my own. "Let's go smash some drinks at the _pool bar_!"

We raced back to our room like children on their way to a candy store. In record time we threw on our bathing suits.

"Joo-ee!" Vivian whined at me. "I wish I had boobs like yours." She pouted while trying to pull up more of hers. I glanced in the mirror. I guess one thing my mom did bless me with was a pretty curvy body. My pink and blue striped bikini that had a bow in the middle did make them look good too.

"Vivian hush!" I scolded "You get more guys than me so I don't think you have room to complain."

Viv rolled her eyes placing a hand on her side

"That's only because you are rarely interested in a guy, and when you are you never seem serious about it."

I opened my mouth to say something but realized she was completely correct, but there were a few guys I was legitly interested in! They just never really worked out.

"Lets go." I said as I finished tying my other sandal on and tying my skirt cover a bit tighter around my waist.

Vivian grudgingly followed murmuring curses along the way.

It only took one view of the beautiful pool tiled in various shades of blue and turquoise with a hint of green, complete with a swim-up bar to dissipate Vivian's pouting face into an expression of complete awe and wonder.

We walked in, the cool pool water feeling wonderful in the hot daylight.

Swimming up to the bar we took our seats on the underwater barstools.

"Hello what can I get for you ladies?" the attractive barista asked us. His side wasn't in the pool obviously, or else he would probably get a lot more tips mixing drinks while swimming.

We ordered our drinks. Viv always went for some fancy margarita whereas I just asked for some vodka, but then the barista talked me into trying out one of his creations which was a chilled tropical vodka drink, what can I say, who can resist a man with _those_ arms?

I watched as the muscle moved under his uniform white colored shirt. He certainly was good looking.

"So," he made small talk giving a dazzling smile "How has your trip been going?"

I smiled wide "I was nervous at first but it's turning out to be wonderful!"

Vivian nodded agreeing, I could tell that she thought he was good looking too, usually when you are friends with someone long enough their body language can give away just about anything.

"Everyone is so friendly here."

"I'm sure pretty girls like you don't have a problem with making friends" he winked

I forced a smile immediately turned off by his flirting, it was obvious he was a womanizer and those I never really liked. Everything about them seemed so fake, as if they were forcing flirt to be liked, or in his case to probably get more tips.

I looked over and rolled my eyes, Viv was encouraged by his flirt. She leaned forward (and in doing so, tried to make her cleavage look good)

"You know" she said in her 'coy voice' "Joe and I were going to go to the billiards tables later if you are off of your shift…?"

He smiled wide, his flirt bait was bit on but his smile flickered when he looked at me and realized I wasn't looking at him with 'coy eyes' but rather 'annoyed eyes'. "Of course, what time?"

Viv's eyes lit up when he accepted, but then dulled when she saw his eyes flicker at me and then my cleavage I wanted to roll my eyes but couldn't because he was still looking at me. Vivian shoved her boobs up more in a desperate attempt to win back his attention. "Whatever time would suit you." She said in maximum flirt mode, eyes hooded, lips pursed, the whole lot.

"Okay then 5'oclock works for me, I'm Colin and what may I ask are your lovely ladies' names?"

I was staring at the ground unable to move my eyes in fear of glaring or an eye roll. I forced a smile.

Thankfully Vivian answered even though he was looking straight at me.

"I'm Vivian and this is Josephina but everyone just calls her Joe."

As we left the pool after talking to 'Colin', and on a side note Colin is such a bland name, not sexy at all, I don't even know what I saw in him to begin with, he was just a annoying lady charmer, no depth only flirt, just like his name Colin was just another boring guy.

When we reached our shared room to take a shower and get dressed Vivain turned to me.

"You can't go." She said simply after shutting the door behind us. "Now, don't get me wrong, you _know_ I love chilling with you, It's just you are too good at billiards I don't want you to embarrass Colin by being better at him."

I wanted to laugh out loud, it was true though, in order to gain money I became really good at many different card games and billiards, all different honest ways of taking money off of others.

"I didn't really want to go to begin with Viv, so calm down. I would have ditched you guys to explore the ship anyways."

She let out a huge breath of air gladdened by the fact I wasn't interested in boring 'Colin'.

"Actually on one condition." I smiled and she looked at me with panic in her eyes.

"What is it?" she grumbled.

"Actually two rules," I put my index finger up "One: If you want to lay him, do it in _his_ room, I'd rather not be locked out of my own room." She nodded because she knew it was reasonable. "And Two: Tomorrow night you will go night swimming with me."

She smiled "Yeah, that sounds fun! What time?"

I shrugged "I don't know, what about two or three in the morning?"

She smiled "Sounds good!"

I smiled too, tonight I was going to make bank off of the tourists at the poker tables!

2:00 am the next morning:

The moon was high in the sky and it was quiet as if the whole world was asleep, as if the whole world was at peace with each other. The stars shined brighter than ever before, not afraid to be bold in a place where smog and skyscrapers did not dare obscure their brilliance. There is something so serene about the quiet of the night.

But what I did not know at that moment, cloaked in the shadows of the serenity of night was a shark, lurking diabolically within the shadows.

Vivian grabbed my hand pulling me to the deepest part of where the pool was. She turned to me excitedly, her auburn hair swishing as the warm tropical breeze danced with the strands. "On 'three' we jump" she said. I smiled wide nodding to her in agreement.

They approached the ship and hooked their ladders onto the side.

"One.."

Silently they boarded the _Dream Finder_, the rugged men in red shirts, and bandanas ak49's in hand and pistol's in holsters ready to shoot, they were the predator and we were the prey, unknowing and blissfully ignorant of their soundless boarding.

"Two…"

The red sea parted for a single man adorned in a red tank-top with a mean scar running from his eyebrow to almost the middle of the back of his head. The man was holding one pistol carelessly, waving it around, pointing it at one person and then another as if he were but a kid with a squirt gun.

"Three!"

We jumped. The surface of the water broke and the water cushioned us from outside sounds, but no amount of water could hide the sound of a single pistol being shot numerous times in the air. At the first shot I thought I must have been imagining the sound but as the second and third shot fired my heart collapsed into my stomach and I knew this was no mistake of imagination.

As I surfaced I immediately searched for Vivian, we spotted each other at the same time and we both swam close hiding up against the wall of the pool from whoever was shooting the gun in the air.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked her frantically. She looked as confused as I felt, blue eyes darting about in different directions paranoid of whatever, whoever was on this ship.

Another shot sounded, we both jumped. And then one voice.

"GooooOOOD Morning Mother Fuckers and welcome to _my_ cruise ship!"

You could just feel the insanity on his words and in that instant I realized what a huge mistake I had made getting on this cruise ship.

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"And it's one more day in paradise. As darkness quickly steals the light that shined within her eyes, she slowly swallows all her fear and sooths her mind with lies. Well, all she wants and, all she needs are reasons to survive. A day in which the sun will take her artificial light." Paradise by Vanessa Carlton

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C: Hope everyone liked it, sorry It's a slowish build up, next chapter will have a lot more action and then chapter 4 is just maddness haha!

-DI


	3. Chapter 3: Tunnel Vision

A/N: Hey guys C:! I am going to not be able to update for a while (10 days) so here is the next chapter a bit early C:

I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it! It's super action filled and next chapter is even better!

A special thanks to **spamlionofdoom103** for following and **The Knees of Bees** for her lovely review and encouragement C:

-DI

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Perception

Chapter 3

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"_Feel the savagery, the utter savagery had closed round him, -all that mysterious life of the wilderness that stirs in the forest in the jungles, in the hearts of wild men."_ – Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

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I used to be someone who believed in something, in peace and humanity but now I see myself to have believed in ignorance. Nothing but ignorance. Now I could feel myself transforming slowly into someone that I did not know, someone that is me, but not myself. As a child that once thought the world was pure grows into an adult through the realization that the core of humanity is selfishness, I too grew into someone who realized world peace is never possible with conflicting ideals. I too had to adapt to survive, as many before me, I was once a child, transformed by the savagery of the wild. Oh and how dark the wild truly was!

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"GooooOOOD Morning Mother Fuckers and welcome to _my_ cruise ship!" He shot another round.

By some bout of courage I snuck a peak over the side of the pool ledge. My fingers tightened and I took a sharp breath, there were so many men holding guns, the main one with the pistol was in the shadows so I couldn't get a good look at him

"Mi amigos here" he flung around the gun motioning to his 'friends' "Will escort you _out_ of your cabins." He gave a barking laugh of a madman as if he just gave the funniest joke in the book.

I ducked down quickly as a black boot came within a foot of where I was peaking.

"Shit!" I swore under my breath "Shit shit shit!" I looked at Vivian. "There must be about 70 of them" I whispered to her.

She looked like she was about to cry, her eyes going glossy all over. "I'm going to _die_, you're going to die." She looked at me tears welling up about to spill over. "Joe _we _are going to **_die_**" as if it hit her suddenly she grabbed her hair "Oh God! I'm not ready to die! I still haven't graduated or-or done anything with my life." She started speaking faster and faster anxiety rushing over her.

I grabbed her shoulders shaking her a bit "Viv!" I whispered to her "We are not going to die! We just need a plan! Okay? Let's think of a plan, you can do that right? You are smart remember? All we need is a plan."

As if resurfacing to reality she nodded her head. "Okay, okay." We both observed our areas

"Okay, maybe if we quietly swim out that side of the pool, by chance we can make it to that wall out of their sight."

"Joe, I can't go off of a 'maybe'! This is my _life _we are talking about!"

I turned to her "Damnit Viv! This is the best and only option we have, so if you can think of anything better _please let me know_"

She held her hands up as if to allay me "Okay" she breathed in and then out calming herself "Sorry, let's do this."

We quietly made our way over, I don't even think one of us breathed a breath of air in fear it would tip someone off to our location. We exited the water, our shoes and wrap skirts forgotten by the deep end of the pool.

So far so good.

I was in front of Vivian making the path of our escape, our steps did not make a noise, we stayed low and quiet, stealthier than either had ever been before in our lives.

We were turning the corner out of sight I was looking back to make sure Viv was okay when I immediately ran into something hard but soft feeling strangely like….damnit!

I looked up, eyes scanning the red material.

"Hey Vaas!" the intruder yelled and my body moved on its own out of desperation. Before my brain could understand what exactly I was doing, as if I was possessed by a soul other than my own, my fist went flying and a loud 'smack' sounded when my knuckles connected with the man's nose.

"Fuck!" he yelled holding his nose with one hand and with the other he started to grab for me, I was frozen, my hands shook, I couldn't believe what I just did, that violence came to me so naturally, that it just flowed out of me. I was distracted in my own horror and he would have successfully grabbed me if it wasn't for Vivian moved faster, her body diving into natural instinct to defend me and in one swift motion she kicked him right in his crotch. He gave a pained yell as he melted into a puddle of defeated man on the ground holding his precious items. I didn't waste any time grabbing Viv's arm and making a run for it, adrenaline pushing my every step farther, adrenaline rushing through my veins, my hand that I hit the guy with only a distant dull throb for now.

Vaas heard one of his men call his name and then a couple of other yells after that. Vaas excitedly jogged over to the man that called him earlier, he was on the ground in obvious pain. Vaas's eyebrows rose, he leaned down tilting his head like a curious puppy would.

"What the hell happened here?"

Vaas grabbed the man on the ground's shirt lifting him up, forcing him on his feet, blood gushed from his nose that was no doubt broken.

The man looked at the ground in shame, "A girl-"

Vaas gave a loud barking laughter and everyone else joined in, when Vaas was done laughing he flung his gun around at the others his eyes suddenly dangerously enraged "Ey! Shut ta fuck up! This man is trying to speak you rude fuckers!" it was immediately silent as the man continued.

"A girl in a bikini… with big boobs she came around the corner and she punched me, and then kicked me in the groin and ran away."

Everyone blanched and the guy frowned.

"I'm not kidding!"

Vaas leaned down so that they were eye-to-eye

"Let me get this right,…You let a.. _girl_ beat you amigo?"

The guy shamefully averted his eyes to the ground and nodded.

Vaas let out another laugh, cocking his gun, he then turned to his cronies pointing at one of them.

"You. Go punch him." He said waving his gun in the general direction of the man who got beat by a girl.

After the man punched the already beaten man Vaas turned to the one who was now dripping blood from not only his nose but now also his lip.

"There, feel like a man now?" He didn't wait for the guy to respond "good." He then turned to his workers again.

Vaas flung his arms up "Now let's give these fuckers a _real_ welcome!"

On his command all of his minions dashed about as if hells gates were broken open and they were his demon's bursting forth, looking to create as much chaos as possible. They flung around guns, kicking open doors, dragging people out of their rooms, shooting the ones who didn't obey their commands. The once beautiful _dream finder_ had turned into a man's nightmare plagued with chaos and blood splatters, moms screaming reaching out to their babies that were taken away from them, Husbands trying to defend their family only to get metal in their skull. In that dark day tears fell harder than rain, but blood out ruled them all.

At that time I was running with Vivian in hand. We were not athletes, I tried soccer once but I wasn't any good so I quit, but in this moment Vivian and I ran faster than a cheetah, with more endurance than the prey running from the cheetah.

We ran to our room locking it and double locking it, but we knew there was no amount of locks able to keep these men out.

"We have to find somewhere to hide!" I said to her. I knew in the long run it wouldn't help us, but some ignorant hope in me wanted to believe it would.

"The closet isn't going to fit both of us." She said with more seriousness than I've ever heard her have in her life. "You take the closet and I'll hide under the bed." She said already going to hide. I nodded and immediately after there was one loud "Bang!" against the door. I scurried into the closet.

It only took one more bang until the crash of the door onto the ground was heard.

In the complete darkness of the closet I heard the man's heavy steps as he inspected the room.

"I guess no one's home." He said to himself, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Then a shrill scream sounded and I peeked out of the closet. He was dragging Viv out from the bottom of the bed by her hair. She clung to the foot of the bed.

"You thought you could outsmart me you little shit? Ha! You forgot to hide your red hair stupid bitch!"

Vivian in danger fueled my adrenaline, her panicked scream jumpstarted something that ran like liquid napalm throughout my veins; anger. This man would not hurt my friend, not while I was here. For the first time in my life 'equality' had been shattered, everything I believed in was starting to crack under the pressure of cold hard reality, I jumped from my hiding spot right onto the red shirted man, this threw him off his balance and he fell straight on his face. In shock he let go of Viv's hair, who moved to the farthest corner. As I sat on top of his back I immediately grabbed his pistol from his holster before he could think about going for it, I then cocked it and pressed it to the back of his head so he knew that I had the upper hand. I knew what I was doing, I knew it was wrong, so why didn't I stop? My hand shook violently and my eyes watered, my lips were chapped and my chest heaving. I was a monster.

"Now, you are going to listen to every word I say and only answer when I tell you to, okay?" he nodded. I silently thanked anyone listening that my voice didn't waver.

"I don't take orders from a stupid bitch!" he spit angrily in a thick accent.

I slapped him across the back of the head with the gun, not hard enough to do any real damage but just enough to remind him of his current situation.

I turned to Vivian "Viv go get three silk scarves of yours and some hairspray." She left to do what I said.

"Who are you people and why are you raiding our ship?" I asked him.

"We are pirates," he answered in an annoyed tone that grated on my ears. "We work under Vaas, our job is to capture tourists and hold them for ransom."

When Vivian returned with the items I turned back to the guy. "Now you are going to do exactly what I say okay?"

He didn't answer but grumbled some swears under his breath.

"Vivian hand me the scarves" she handed me it "Thanks." I said, I then tied one around the man's mouth as a gag so no one could hear him yell, it would give away my plan. I got up off of his back, gun still trained to his head.

"Now, take off your clothes" He looked at me with confused wide eyes.

I was getting annoyed of his stuck up princess act. Vivian had only a matter of time before the next pirate came around this part of the cruise ship and if they walked in now, Vivian and Joe would be in deep shit.

"I'm sorry did I _fucking stutter_?" He immediately started taking off his clothes when he reached to take off his underwear I quickly stopped him "No that's good enough"

He gave a sneer.

I then threw the clothes at Vivian "Get dressed" I said, she smiled already figuring out part of my plan.

As she got dressed in his clothes over her bikini, I tied his hands and feet together with the other scarves.

"Do you still need the hairspray?" she asked when she was done. I shook my head.

"No, I was only going to use that if he resisted."

"Make him suffocate on hairspray?" she joked, I frowned.

"No, I was going to melt his face off with that lovely lighter he had in his pocket." Vivian shrugged.

I got up from crouching next to the guy and looked at her "Here, help me put him in this closet."

"Gladly." She agreed and helped me put him in the closet.

"Hey" Vivian said after we shut the doors. "Hold the doors closed real quick" I did as she told me and she returned with a metal rod that held the towels up in the bathroom, she then slid it in the handles of the door so there was no way he could get out of the closet.

"Were you really going to melt his face off?" she asked eyebrow raised, curious.

I looked at her with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. "Hell no! Do you think I'm that crazy Viv?!"

She shrugged dismissing it "So what's the rest of your plan?" she asked me.

"Okay well now that you're dressed as him we can sneak around and find a way out of this."

She frowned "What about the rest of the people?"

I blanched, realization suddenly hitting me like a semi-truck, how could I forget about everyone else? Looking back on today I can't believe what I have done, my fear created tunnel vision of survival, holy shit!

Viv saw the absolute horror on my face and put a hand on my back.

"Hey, hey, don't think about this shit, we did what we had to do to survive, if it's up to them, they would have killed us without blinking." Somehow her words did not help but rather made the realization of my situation deepen.

The stunning realization that to me, my life was more important than a strangers, that in the core of myself I was selfish, just like everyone else. In the wilderness, in the savage, we were all the same, we were all wild things, and a wild thing is not easily again tamed.

* * *

_"Demons_  
_Come on_  
_You've got a vision_  
_You're on a mission_

_Demons_  
_Live on_  
_And when I die, hang me high_

_They're gonna bury you_  
_They're gonna finish_  
_They're gonna stand em up six by six by six_  
_You pull the hood back_  
_I wanna know_  
_Which way will the heavenly go?"_

–Demons by SleighBells

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AN: Hope you liked it, action finally here and next chapter is crazy C; It's one of my favorites where Joe and Vaas finally meet!- DI


	4. Chapter 4: And In That Moment

Hello everyone! I apologize that I have taken longer updating than I said I would, the reason for this is because I was out of the country on a trip to Paris, and I have got to say they have the best food there...and men honhonhon C: lol

anyways it also took longer than expected because I rewrote the last chapter. A kind soul pointed out to me that her personality change was wayy too sudden and made her unrealistic, looking over the chapter again I had to agree C: so thankyou **The Knees of Bees** for pointing that out, I really do enjoy critique because it helps me grow as an author. That being said, I hope you (readers of my story) would read the last chapter, or at least skim over it, everything did happen the same but I edited it so that it is more realistic C:.

Also, after this chapter I will be putting this story on Hiatus along with three other stories I have on , the reason for this is because I am working on a huge project; an Otome game. I am not only writing the whole thing, but I am also doing all the art too, so It is going to be a hugge project for me, and I have to keep the ball rolling while it's going. Anyways, for updates on the Otome game follow my tumblr account which is posted on my page in my bio I am not going to be posting much about it until I am atleast 70% finished with it C:.

A BIGG thankyou to **TheLostGirl15**, **Sickmonkey89**, and **Grievousorvenom** for commenting and loving on my story! You have no clue how that encourages me :'DD!

Anyways this is my favorite chapter so far, so on with the story Huzzah!

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Perception

Chapter 4

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_"All along the formless coast bordered by dangerous surf, as if nature herself had tried to ward off intruders; in and out of rivers, streams of death and life, whose banks were rotting into mud, whose waters thickened into slime, invaded the contorted mangroves, that seemed to writhe at us in the extremity of an impotent despair." _ - Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

* * *

His words were like a snake drawing me closer, hypnotizing me, compelling me in. It was not because of his charm, but rather lack of it that became the intrigue of him. He would always act on impulse, on feelings, as if logic did not exist. With him, there was no rules, only hope and prayer that the sun would rise above the mountains the next day.

* * *

"I think I have a better plan" Vivian said giving a smile that made me weary.

"Continue…" I said hesitantly.

"Okay so with our disguises, well _my _disguise we should be able to get to that huge bar in the ballroom In the middle of the ship top floor, when we get there we can use the beer bottles stored in the built in coolers under the counters to make Molotov cocktails, when the men are gathered we can then throw said cocktails to disperse them and create an uprising with the people."

My jaw was somewhere around my knees. "And you know how to make molotov cocktails?" I asked my eyebrows raised.

"Well I learned a couple things growing up." She joked around. "But first we need rubber bands of sorts"

"Well.." I realized "You have that 100 pack of hair bands that you bought for this trip."

Vivian was about to complain but knew this was a bit more important than having something to tie her hair up with.

"Oh talking about hair bands, here let me help you hide your hair under that hat." I said taking one of the two hair bands I usually keep around my wrist and helped her pin up her hair and then sat the hat over it. "Wow with the hat, Bandanna and the glasses no one is even going to assume you aren't a man!"

She frowned dramatically "You forgot to mention my lack of boobs!"

I rolled my eyes giving a laugh "Whatever, let's go finish out the plan." She nodded and then we left and headed to the ball room with the gigantic bar.

The ball room was really…well creepy, the chandelier was the only light that was on, creating deep shadows that draped throughout the room Vivian immediately headed towards the bar and grabbed the alcohol bottles from underneath the counter, for the next ten minutes or so we moved fast, I quickly grabbed white cloth napkins from the tables that lay in the room and dipped the ends in lantern oil. Vivian was mixing various alcohols and sprites to create what she said was a 'highly flammable fluid'. The whole time my nerves were shaking, jumping and grating on my conscience, these were _people _we were fighting against. People that had families, what will become of their families, when they get hurt? I felt nauseated, I When she was done with about ten bottles she looked up at me.

"Hey, Joe what are you stalling for? Come on and help me get this done!"

I walked over trying with all my strength to push the guilt out of my head, but it just wouldn't budge. We started to place the napkins in the bottle and tie them securely in, then we grabbed the cocktails and hid them in Vivian's outfit (seeing that I was still in a bikini and that large coat wouldn't give it away).

"Time to get the party started." She said we climbed down the stairs to the front of the ship where the hostages were being held. I swallowed. Vivian grabbed me roughly around the wrist and yanked me around a bit when a guard was passing.

I turned to her "Hey I have a good idea."

When I was finished telling her most of my plan she agreed saying that it might really work even better, although I didn't tell her all of it because I knew she would not agree with it.

She stripped down to her bikini and I dressed up as the pirate, we took the Molotov cocktails up to the second story balcony that over looked the area where the pirates were.

We looked at each other "ready?" I asked.

She looked uneasy but nodded with resolution "ready."

All of a sudden, in a flurry of action we lighted Molotovs and throwing them. As fire ignited like fallen angels, chaos was brought into the world. People ran around yelling, screaming as the strong tropical winds danced with the fire, and the conflagration consumed its prisoners. Looking down at the chaos, for a moment I felt like God. When half of the Molotov cocktails were gone, I took apart in my secret plan I had formed in hopes of freeing everyone on the ship.

"Finish them off, I have to go do something. Here," I unsheathed the gun forcing it into her hands "If anyone comes up to you, shoot them." Before she could protest I ran down the stairs into the growing inferno. I looked around the pirates, most were running from the fire, some were scoping, looking around for the person who was throwing these cocktails, but Vivian was too smart for her own good, ducking between throws.

Smoke was obscuring some of my vision but finally I found the form of the boss "Vaas" as many of the pirates called him, the heat wavered the sight but I could always tell when someone was in charge and this man was one of those people, the black spot in the middle of a white page.

I headed my way over and as I got closer and the strong wind helped clear the smoke was out of my eyes, the heat was behind me I could truly see the form of the man called "Vaas". To simply put this, he took my breath away, he was everything I could only imagine a dream could be, perfect. So entirely handsome, no amount of smoke could make that any different. This man had tanned skin with a square jaw line, his hazel eyes shifted and swirled as emotions ran through him, rampant, raw, uncontrolled emotions. He had a scar that marred his eyebrow and trailed up to the middle of the back of his head and suddenly I realized I wanted to know everything about that scar, every story behind this man named 'Vaas'. I had never in my life been more compelled to another human being, so pulled toward the existence of another, but the weight of my current situation was heavier than my attraction to this bad man.

I shook violently, fear of failure crawling through my skin enveloping me I was not scared, I was terrified. If this plan failed thousands of people on this boat would lose their lives including Vivian. So I recalled all the drama classes I took and became the person I needed to be. I slid a mask over my face, a mask of daring, a mask of fearlessness. I was bold, I was the predator and the man named 'Vaas' is my prey.

I unsheathed my knife quietly, I made my way past him and then behind him. Swiftly, I slipped a string through his belt loop and hooked it inside of my jacket. I then pressed the knife to his throat.

"Hello Vaas." I sneered, "I would advise you not to move, because this pretty little string here" I touched the string pulling on it a tad. "Is attached to a grenade pin in my jacket, so if you die, so do I."

To my surprise this Vaas character started laughing "Holy fuck! You snuck right up behind me amigo! Are my men that stupid? How did they not spot you?" he laughed harder, it frayed my nerves, hearing that laugh, as if he didn't care whether he died or not, as if he didn't have one care in the whole world.

It was only later that I realized that he and I were not much different.

A great draft of wind blew, and the hat that was covering my hair flew off revealing my short blonde hair.

"A woman!?" One of the pirates exclaimed pointing me out, he then put one and one together and saw that I had a knife to Vaas's throat. As more pirates noticed me and in turn more barrels of AKs were pointed at me, silence grew over the crowed as the distressed victims dropped what they were doing (screaming crying ect) to watch the great events of me threatening the head of the whole organization.

"I wouldn't pull the trigger." I said loud enough for all of them to hear "Your _lovely_ Vaas" I spat sarcastically, angry at the pirates, angry at the predicament I was in, and most of all, angry at myself for not being able to say 'no' to the great "_dream finder"_ "and I are connected by this string, and if my body falls then the pin of my grenade attached inside my jacket is pulled and it will kill everyone close, _including_ him." I said digging the knife in further, my shaking hand giving away my adrenaline and apprehension in the situation despite my steady voice.

At what I said, Pirates backed up not wanting to be close to an explosive situation (haha explosive situation hahaha).

"You Fucks!" The man called Vaas screamed suddenly forming into the rage of a lion. "You!" he yelled dialing in on the poor pirate that was about a head shorter than the others and skinny enough to match. "Stop being a fucking pussy and get your ass over here! Vaminos!" The pirate was visibly shaking out of fear, his gun still trained on me. He was young and bright eyed, obviously not as weathered as the rest of the pirates, this boy must have been a new recruit.

Vaas looked over his shoulder at me, he could now tell that I was a girl, too short and curvy to be a man. "What's your name sweetheart?" he asked calmly, when I didn't answer, his face contorted into a vision of rage. "I just asked you a question and you just **fucking ignored me**, do you have Any. Fucking. **Idea**. how **rude** you are being?!" he screamed completely unhinged, it made me jolt, fear ripping down my spine like lightning, reminding me that I was only but a mortal and he, he was god, I had a knife but he, he had true power. A simple human against the all existing power of god, hopelessly, devastatingly, and utterly useless. That was what I suddenly felt, useless, and pitying for every other poor being who dared to stare within the luminescent darkness, the soul eclipse of this being.

"My name is Josephina, but I go by Joe." I said quietly, fear wrapping around me and taking hold of me in a python grip. My hand started shaking harder, who was I? Was that really who I was in this moment? Why did I feel so different? Why did I feel like I could accomplish something like saving people when I was a meagerly ant and he was the boot.

"I'm sorry," Vaas growled, "I can't **hear you**. Speak up for fucks sake!"

The python caught fire and ignited turning fear into anger, rage, a burning inferno of rage. I was angry, I was angry that I was weak within his presence, I was angry that I wasn't saving people, I was angry over my life going nowhere, I was enraged. "Shut up! You stupid motherfucker!" I snapped back pulling the knife closer into his skin, my hand now shaking out of anger, creating a drip of red. "If you are so _curious_ as to what my name is, it's 'Joe' you ignorant little shit!"

Vaas laughed out loud throwing his head back. "Oh my, this dingo got a growl, but can she _bite_…?" he turned his head to the skinny pirate holding the gun that was trembling in his hand.

"When I count down to 'one' shoot her." Vaas then turned to the girl behind him. "Okay chica, we gunna' play a little game, either you kill me, or I kill you."

I gave a growl "In the end either way you die."

He shook his head "You see, to make this fair I cut the string when you were distracted. It was a good plan, a clever plan, but it's no fun if the chances of both of our survival are ruined." He then turned back to the kid with the gun. I looked down noticing that the string was indeed cut his hand holding a knife.

I was so useless I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry, here I created a whole plan of escape, thinking I could save everyone, I had the knife, I had the upper hand, and the next thing I know is he not only has a knife but also a gun. Not only does he have an upper hand but, he uses it to make me play his 'game'.

"Three"

My whole life came back to the fore front of my mind, like a slideshow in 5x speed, every mistake I had ever made. When I cheated on Brian in sophomore year, when I cheated on the chem test junior year, when I cussed out Viv, every time I pretended to love Lena's hand knit socks for Christmas every year, every time when a guy was interested in me and I told him 'I respect our friendship too much' just to get out of dating him, when I forgot to tip the waitress, when I cut someone off while driving, in elementary when I made fun of Catherine zeta, when I ran over the neighbor's cat, everything was rushing through my head. I wish I had done this, I wish I didn't do that.

"Two"

I also remembered every precious memory, when I had my first crush on a boy, my first kiss, when Viv and I had an all-nighter sleepover with nutella and Jake Gyllenhaal movies after my first boyfriend broke up with me, every kind person I had met, every adventure, every laugh, every smile.

This moment was the ultimatum, where I decided if I was going to stay in my righteous non-violent ways, or if I was going to conform, adapt to the savage of the jungle.

"KILL ME!" Vaas hollered at me, jarring my thoughts for a moment, his intensity hotter and more scathing than any heat of hell's flames.

These people needed my help, they didn't deserve to die, everyone made mistakes but no one deserved to be sold off like animals for them. But in the end there was around 100 pirates with guns and everyone was willing to listen in order not to get a bullet in their head. What was I though? I was only a man, In the end, if I killed Vaas, nothing would change we would all still be sold off.

"JUST FUCKING KILL ME!" He screamed piercing the silence with his wild accent.

I didn't want to kill anyone no matter how evil they were, how could I live with myself with blood on my hands? I didn't want this, I never asked for this situation. How could the decision a human's demise lay on my hands, the decision was too hefty. In that moment I knew I was not God, I looked up wishing to be like him.

"**SLIT MY FUCKING THROAT AND KILL ME**!"

Vaas's voice was shaking me, affecting me to my core. It was an earthquake; everything else trembled at the aftermath, destruction and rebirth in it's wake.

I regret. I destroy. I Create.

* * *

_ "You know this can't be perfect Even when it's feeling right And the sounds of bodies crashing Echo through the night  
Dreams are gone Nightmares are here to stay Not doing when you know Is the greatest crime"_

Its Myself vs. Being a Man – INHALE EXHALE

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I hope you all liked it C:!


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